on lonely spammers throwing spaghetti on the wall, part 1

This energy has been in my field a lot lately, so buckle in for storytime. 😂 

[Names & identifying factors have been changed/hidden to protect the guilty besides me & mine.]

On Saturday, some friends came over for a li’l half-birthday/birthday gathering in my backyard.* It had been raining that day, but we managed to cozy up with our propane heaters, blankets, yummies, and fun conversation.

At one point, we had a good laugh at me saying, “Remember when the Internet was new?” 

I’d said it because I had an anecdote about when we were in eighth grade and we would troll chatrooms pretending to be people we weren’t. Coincidentally, this very subject had come up the other day as I was writing for Stroked Up.

Today on my feed, I came across a reel, which made me laugh. I’ve been playing with IG stories lately, so of course I had to share.

The next day, Anthony received a text that caught his attention because he’d just texted our neighbor David, and the text from an unrecognized number was like, “Is this David [sic] number?” and Anthony got confused wondering if our neighbor had changed his number.

He engaged, and immediately as I watched the exchange play out, I recognized it as a spammer just throwing spaghetti at the wall looking for connection (what kind, I don’t know, as I’ve never let it get very far before blocking them). But Anthony took this opportunity to troll me and continued the conversation for a few minutes before he blocked. 🤪

There is a woman in my community named Stefania who has dubbed the year of 2022 as “The Year of the Long Con,” especially due to all the documentaries coming out about con artists like The Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna. And — this is certainly not to be ignored — especially as a direct result of the social isolation of these pandemic years, where I don’t think a single day goes by without my phone receiving at least three spam texts (and for the first time, on other apps in addition to the regular one).

Now, as someone who has been around since “the Internet was new,” I’m no stranger to spammers and unprovoked messages from questionable peeps on the web.

I’ve listened to Internet-inexperienced Boomer women complain about all the “weird guys on the Internet” as though they were special, or as though they were victims of some kind of crime.

To be honest with you, I’ve had a pretty amazing journey with the Internet — including making lifelong friends from other lands (yes, we have met in person), being a host for international travelers, and being part of some really phenomenal communities. I love the Internet! 

And like anything else involving humans, there are parts and people on the Internet that are just not for me. There’s a lot of behavior and dysregulated energy thrown onto the Web, particularly on social media, that I don’t participate in. Especially, but not limited to, outrage.

So I both find spaces where the people are respectful & nourishing to me, and I operate from a different set of boundaries and values when it comes to my spaces on the Internet.

You’ll find sort of across the board, any Internet/connection space I’m in charge of (social media pages, blogs, e-mail addresses, phone) is well protected by a practice of care for my energy. I’ve been tightening things up slowly but surely, and eventually I’ll be more forthcoming about what I am and am not available for across all platforms.

This isn’t an effort to control other people’s behaviors, but to educate them on what I will invest my energy in.

Part 2 will share a story about something that happened only today that I found fun.

*I have begun holding birthday parties at the half-year mark to avoid the inconvenience of trying to plan gatherings around Thanksgiving.